So lately I have seen a lot of articles about stay at home moms getting a bad wrap. Now let me start out by saying I believe everything that they say…it’s a full time job and a hard one at that. What I don’t get is why can’t we accept the fact that we are working mothers, stay at home mothers, single mothers, etc without having to judge each other. No matter what, they are all hard work. This is personal…not about other working moms or saying that stay at home moms get to do or not do all these things. It’s just my reflection on why I choose to be a working mother!
I choose to be a working mother. Yes I said I choose to be a working mother. It is not totally for financial reasons. Could we do it financially if we were strict with our finances and cut back on things? Yes. So why do I choose to work? Here are a few reasons.
1. Cherish the time we have- I realized after I had my first daughter that I am a better mom because I work. Yes you read that right! I love my girls dearly and love spending time with them and my husband. I try to enjoy all the moments we have together. But here is the thing…when I was home full time on mat leave I always felt like I had time to do this and that with them later and then time would get away from me. When they were small, we knew we only had a small window between the end of the work day and bed times, so we made the best of those moments. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not all roses but I try to make the best of the moments we have.
2. Adult conversation – When the girls were little it was nice to be able to go to work and have adult conversations. Many stay at home moms join Moms groups so that they can do this. I needed to be with other adults and work filled that. Now that they are in their tween/teen years the conversations with them are becoming deeper which is nice…at times :D.
3. Brain stimulation and fulfillment – I need to keep my brain active and not just active with baby Einstein. I love what I do for a living. It gives me satisfaction and keeps the creative juices flowing.
4. Finances – This is not the make or break of why I chose to work. It has however given us opportunities to do things that otherwise would have never happened. Trips south with Mark and the girls. Travelling for provincial basketball. Having a camper and camping all summer. Both girls having braces. Girls working at a Christian Summer Camp and not worrying about getting paid.
5. Role Model – I want my girls to know that they can do anything that they put there mind and effort into. That nothing will be just handed to them and that hard work pays off. My mother did not have a choice. Being a single mother she had to work. But she chose what worked best for her and us. She taught kindergarten in the mornings while my sister and I were at school. She definitely taught me work ethic and how to be a great mother! If I can be half the mother she is I will say that I have succeeded. I will be proud of my girls whether they choose to work or be a stay at home mom.
6. My girls will learn independence – My girls have learned how to do laundry, dishes, clean the house, make their lunches for school etc. Why because it is important that when they are old enough they will have enough independence that they can function in society without a parent having to hover over them.
All that being said I still have to get groceries, do laundry, make supper, clean, bake, eat, shower and sleep. Sometimes it is not easy. Sometimes when I see other parents picking their kids up from school and going home with them I have a second of envy. Only a second. I know that this choice that I made is the right one for me. Bravo to the mothers who make the choice because it’s the right thing to do for their family and themselves. Bravo to the stay at home moms for the same reasons.
So no matter where you are in your stage as a mother, remember that we all have different reasons for what we are doing. God created us all differently and therefore make different choices. Encourage one another to parent the way they feel they are being led to parent. We have been given a gift from God to raise these precious kids. Let’s do it with all we have and lift up ALL the mothers around you! Proverbs 31:26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
“Believe that Something Great is About to Happen because God Can do Anything”
Hebrews 11:1 Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.
my wheatfield 